The Uneasiness Part I

The Uneasiness Part I is over.

The experience was horrible! I was so nervous though I didn’t stop for the first few sections but there was quite draggy for the sight reading and lots of misplayed notes for the improvisation. Really terrible! Well maybe I didn’t prepare well and was not confident too. It was too long ago that I had an exam and this time not only you need to know your stuff, you need to ‘feel’ as well. Tough tough... Maybe I should start taking more exams then I can boost my ‘pre-examination blues’.

Now, how to feel? I was really nervous and felt like I was kind of rushing through to finish the piece. But when I was playing it, I was trying to re-cap what I did in class. It felt emotional ‘to me’ but their remarks were that they couldn’t hear the expressions or the message or the gist of song that I was trying to convey. Hmm..

In general, the stepping into the studio was not as scary (maybe there were only 2 invigilators, so not that scary). But the beginning to touch the keys was the nerve-racking, daunting part, cos once I played the wrong notes, I couldn’t escape from it, so I just played on, mostly trying to do the safe thing- to sight read (BUT my sight reading sucks! Haha) and attempt to improvise.

So, I have another 6 months to brush up on my skills for Part II – D’Uneasiness Continues..